Have you witnessed people who are an epitome of negativity, no matter how hard you try they continue to bask in the darkness of judgement, resentment, sorrow and disappointment?
Have you also witnessed people whose thoughts and deeds brim with positivity leaving you to wonder how life is paradise for some and living hell for others
Let’s try to demystify the Psychology and ancient wisdom behind this dilemma
Disclaimer: Chances are high, content may sound little esoteric but trust me for a logical conclusion
All of us are aware of the good old saying “An individual (self-image) is a product of books he/she reads and people they associate with”
But Psychology gives a wholistic definition
Self – Image = Epigenetics (A)+ Environmental determinism (B) + Psychic determinism (C)
(Hereditary) + (Acquaintance, Surrounding, etc) + (Upbringing)
Anything and everything that influences self-image can be categorized under the three parameters mentioned above. For the sake of reference, lets consider these as lenses
When we realize, self-image is determined by these three lenses (A+B+C), it becomes pertinent that the beauty of the image is determined by the quality of these lenses
Now we know what does it mean by “Beauty is in the eye of beholder”
Lets have a close look at the equation….
Epigenetics (A) – Heredity (Science relates to “traits inherited from ancestors”, Spirituality refers to previous birth/incarnation simply put Karma)
If not the latter, we have come across lot of instances wherein the behavior/attitude of a child resembling parents, maternal/paternal grand parents)
In the equation, this parameter can be altered but cannot be transmuted
Parameters B & C are our circle of influence.
Among the two, the most influential is Variable B, Environment. This refers to those that nourishes our mind and soul – People, Thoughts, Deeds, etc we constantly engage on a daily basis
Why not upbringing?( Variable C)
Simple reason, the values and beliefs at this stage are chosen by external parties and not by self. In the unfortunate situation, if the values and beliefs imparted at this stage has toxic influence on the individual, in our context this lens is damaged
Lets deep dive into Environmental factors (B)….
Anything we encounter on a daily basis – Society, acquaintance, thoughts, concepts, principles, choice of lifestyle, books we read, habits, rituals, time we spend on numerous activities has varied degree of influence on us which either translates to thoughts or deeds and hence the reference to nourishment of mind and soul
By this time, you would have realized, feeding the mind means having a “Growth Mindset – Filling with positive thoughts”
But feeding the soul is even more critical, because we have to convert the thoughts to good deeds
What is a good deed? Self-less service..
That which we perform with no expectation, being fully aware the other party cannot reciprocate it
For many of us, it sounds like sacrifice and many a times there’s no motivation to perform such act
This is where the mission fails miserably
Very few realize, service to others, is the nourishment to the soul….
Beneath the surface, what happens is a beautiful self-transformation
When we do a self-less service with no expectation, we shed-off judgement, expectation and eventually mute the sense of self ( while performing the service) which leads to view the world as it is and enjoy the beauty fully
This newly found joy helps to introspect past deeds and bless us with self-awareness
This is as good as we being aware and carry the right spectacle for the chosen activity (reading/outdoor activity)
What does self-awareness do? Constantly remind us of the Scotoma emerging from the three parameters/ lenses and be mindful of power of choice that can be exercised at all times
Self-less act -> Self-awareness -> Power of choice -> Positive approach to life (Corrective lenses )
When the external circumstances are gloomy and hopeless, lets consciously choose positivity to understand that life is not about analyzing half-glass full/half-glass empty situations rather realization of our true potential that can fill our glass and that of others who couldn’t do it for themselves
Next time, when you come across negativity in someone, let you be the blessing & positive influence to him/her to witness the true beauty of life
Article by
Kamala Manohari Balasundaram
Aphoristic Thoughts 